Goodbye March


Goodbye March, with all your spirited showers & your scattered sunlight. How beautiful you have been; throwing towering clouds & bright, sunlit days around, like one does confetti on a party. You found extra hours in a day, you chased darkness from the mornings, then the evenings. And although, at times, the world grew cold & dark, you were kind for me & for those I love most.

Goodbye Dear March, thanks for taking me outside all those lovely hours. I put my hiking boots on, stood in an awakening forest, where everything was proudly brimming with beginnings. I closed my eyes, turned my face towards the sun & felt the winter melt from within me. It always seems to take so long, those last days of winter slumber. But there was evidence of life everywhere & it made my heart sing out with joy.
Cards were send, unexpected packages arrived, letters were written & send. I tried to read, I found myself listening instead. Some days I felt more lost than others, but most days I was merely grateful for always being so safely bound. I looked for inspiration, tried to strive for more & less every day. I created, tested the water, felt proud, felt fearful, satisfied & disappointed. The future was taking shape around me, I could see it, I loved it, but as always it frightened me all the same. And so, I was reminded that some things never change at all.

Goodbye March, with your painful lessons to be learned. It felt like bombs went off everywhere & all the time, ending the lives of men and women, young and old. And no matter who they were or where they came from, they were all lost to us. And I saw it all, I read it all, I felt it all. I read & read, until I understood nothing & felt less than I felt before. At times, at the end of the day, I feel my soul will burst with all the sorrow of this world. But at the same time, these troubled times make me feel stronger & less alone than I might have felt before. Because the darker it gets, the more I am drawn towards the light. The harder it is, the kinder I become. And even though it might not make much sense, I embrace it all the same.

Goodbye good old March, another month gone. I let you go & make room for your kind friend April. Thanks you so much for being your unpredictable self, I loved the surprises that came my way.Thank you for all the walks, the flowers, the clouds & more than anything, thank you for the sun. Thank you for the comfort of weighty words, small talk & familiar silliness. Thank you for new directions, quiet moments of clarity & important hours of uncertainty. I will step away from you with a renewed sense of curiosity, eagerly looking forward to the days to come.

Love, Naomi

Book: Ashamed to say, I haven’t finished a new book yet. There goes my first new year’s resolution:( I did start in ‘The Rosie Project’- Graeme Simsion, but haven’t finished it.
Series: Downton Abbey, Once upon a Time (again:)
Songs of the month:
Us against the world – Coldplay
After the storm – Mumford & Sons
The Other side – David Gray
Fix You – Coldplay

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Goodbye February

Goodbye February, how fast you have passed me by. It should not come as a surprise anymore, the speed in which time travels, but still it does. I had great plans with you, you know, wild ideas & good hope. But somehow I get in the way of myself sometimes. Like I want more than my mind can handle. But I enjoyed our time together all the same. Please, don’t get me wrong; I loved the days you gave to me.

Goodbye February, you beautiful romantic soul. Bringing warmth & flowers, while outside chilly winds blew all premature thoughts of spring away. I went outside, willingly facing wind, rain & hail, my clothes soaked time & time again, but my heart singing with delight. I made small drawings of love, cooked familiar favourites to warm us at dinnertime, I strolled between deserted factories, where beauty was bravely defeating decay. I watched too many episodes of a new favourite series, let myself be tempted by the ‘comfort’ of the old English aristocratic life. I tried to keep promises to myself, set goals & strived for my own definition of success. I listened to both old & new music, found my heart jumping with joy every time a memorable song arrived at its doorstep. I watched dancers drift across a brightly lit stage, embracing both (in)visible love & all life lived beneath the delicate surface of our skin.

Goodbye February, what a world we live in, with all its uncompromised power to give & take, the ability to create & to destroy. Your winter days passed & I thought of those with no shelter, no place to call home. It was with a heavy heart that I looked at my television screen, staring into the eyes of those with nothing left, but still so much to give. I sat & realised how we are all so connected & so very disconnected at the same time. And I couldn’t decide whether that thought made me feel either strong or only smaller still.

Goodbye February, time to go. Make space for March, that unpredictable & wilful friend of yours. Thank you for a lovely time. Thank you for the wind in my face, the first bold flowers that blossomed. Thank you for the laughter & the tears. Thank you for the forgotten song that played on the radio. Thank you for the sunny extra day. And more than anything, thank you for putting up with my complicated soul, the questions it askes & the answers it provides. I wish you well & we’ll meet again.

Love, Naomi

Book: Een verhaal van liefde, ziekte en dood. Deel 1: de liefde – Jonas Gardell (Dutch)
Series: Downton Abbey
Theatre: Under my skin – Isabella Beerneart
Songs of the month:
The Boxer – Simon & Garfunkel
Oh Canada – Missy Higgins
Nothing Arrived – Villagers
Up & Up – Coldplay
Nobody Cept’you – Jack Savoretti

Goodbye January

January (2)

Goodbye January, with your spring like, winter weather & your indecisive state of mind. You’re the start to everything; you’re both the second change & the new beginning. You come early every year; catch me by surprise & throw me off a little. But it is fine & it’s not your fault. It’s me, not you. I should know how this whole annual thing works by now.

Goodbye sweet January, I had a great time with you. A promising beginning, which makes me wonder what else is in store. I walked through your uncharacteristically mild days, left my gloves at home, stumbled into new ideas & got reintroduced to my all too familiar hesitations. I google-eyed the house, I read one book, saw three movies, watched 3 seasons of one series, played 3 different board games, cooked 2 new dishes, played one cd on repeat & had 5 favourite songs to listen to.  I thought, I wondered, I planned & I made lists. Oh boy, did I make lists; to- do- lists, how-to- lists, when- to- lists & why- to- do lists. But some days no list could help me straighten out which thoughts should come first & which could wait till later. I guess some things never change, no matter what year it is.

Goodbye January, I know it’s hard for you to go, leaving this world in the same chaos you found it in. But we both know that chaos is not going anywhere anytime soon. And really, it is not your concern, it’s ours. I just wish I could promise you that better times are coming, while truth is that I just don’t know. None of us do, I suppose. All I know is that I feel it is time for us we recover & regroup, before it is too late for all of us to get back to who we once were. Or at least, who we thought we were or who we aspired to be.

Goodbye Dear January; it’s time for us to part. But not before I take a moment to thank you for all the lovely days & moments we shared together. Thank you for the conversations I had, the plans I made, the inspiration that struck. Thank for the music that drifted my way, the images that filled my mind & the words I got to read. Even though you might have seemed commonplace at certain times, I don’t want to take our time together for granted. Because, after all, this has been a lovely start of something which still seemed rather huge & intimidating 31 days ago. You have been able to turn my apprehensive ship around & now, I’ve got my eye on the horizon.

Thanks again & goodbye sweet January

 

  

Book: Dingen die fijn zijn – Claudia de Breij (Dutch)
Movies: Wild, About Time & The Time Travellers Wife
Series: Suits
Songs of the month:
Catapult – Jack Savoretti
The Scientist – Coldplay (this version)
Emmylou – First Aid Kit
Wish I was here – Cat Power & Coldplay
Adventure of a lifetime – Coldplay