This was April, 2018

“This is what I had come for, just this, and nothing more. A fling of leafy motion on the cliffs, the assault of real things, living and still, with shapes and powers under the sky- this is my city, my culture, and all the world I need.”

-Annie Dillard-

Wide-eyed wandering, week 52

Thanks for following my Wide-eyed wandering photo project & I hope to see you again next year!

Wide-eyed wandering, week 50

Wide-eyed Wandering, week 46

Wide-eyed wandering, week 43

The day turned late
everything leaned towards ending.
In the pauses
between my breaths
I softly whispered
a godless prayer
of gratitude
for so much silence
and quiet life.

Naomi Jansen

Wide-eyed wandering, week 40

…and then suddenly, everything turns white from yearning…

For Anne…

A couple of weeks ago, Anne went cycling on her own. Twenty-five years old,
she was just a young woman, right at the start of her life, going on an ordinary, little adventure at the end of the day. A young woman, much like myself, much like many of us. A young woman, who never returned home that night & whose body was found dead and discarded in the forest 2 weeks later.

Anne has been on my mind a lot lately. Not just because the news has been dominated by her disappearance, but mainly because her story and all the details of her passing have found a way to my heart and won’t let themselves be shaken off. The cycling trip, the numbered tracks, the day drawing to an end, the world around her dripping with her imminent ending.
In this past week, I have found my thoughts drifting to dark places as I thought of her discarded, lonely self left in that, once so innocent ,forest; so far from those she loved & those who loved her. To me, nature has always been a place to feel fully at ease, a place to recharge & come to terms with the bustle of life. The forest in fall has always been my go-to-place, my unquestioned favourite season.
Yet, suddenly, this same place & this same season were dragged into the harsh light of reality & were made to be stained by the vicious act of Anne’s killer. It’s like I just cannot not comprehend how so much natural beauty & so much sickening violence can co-exist in one place at the same time.

Anne, just another story on the news. Anne, the girl that went cycling & never come round again. Anne, who I never met & was never likely to meet. Anne, whose senseless death has settled within me for reasons I might never fully understand.
This is for Anne. This is for me. This is for the forest in fall. This is for the restoring of innocence & beauty in places where it is lost. This is for all of us who might need this right now….

The forest and the girl

The moss and the fungus
the evaporating dew
the endless singing overhead
the smelling and the creaking
the frail, motionless canopy
the breaking and the falling
the inevitable ending;

The forest and the girl.

Wide-eyed wandering, week 36

‘

‘The sun creates flowers,
warmth, heather,
the sea creates silence
– what do we create together?

Leo Vroman
(Dutch author)

Wide-eyed wandering, week 35

Photo by either my mother or my father.

‘Eternity is that moment in time
when you say;
I will never forget this.’

Jan Wolkers
(Dutch author & sculptor)

Wide-eyed wandering, week 34

Photo by Naomi Jansen