It‘s been a while since my last update. The world drifted into December, the end of the year is in sight & I’m still ploughing through the last few October images. November flashed by, as I was struggling to keep up with the pace of life. Because, really, what happened to the time, what happened to all the plans I made, the ideas swimming within me? What happened to all my best intentions; the photos I wanted to make & the posts I wanted to write?
Well, truth is I got distracted. Distracted by the world. I suppose, it is save to say, I was lost in thought.I was spending all my time thinking. Thinking about a whole lot of things. I was thinking so much that it kept me from writing. In the meantime, all kinds of great things were happening to me. I was given opportunities to grow & create. And I loved them all. But still, I kept thinking & thinking & thinking.
I was thinking about those poor people fleeing from everywhere, thinking about borders closing, fences appearing out of nowhere. I was thinking about all those lost souls drifting in from sea, stranding on unfamiliar shores, carrying fear & sorrow as their only possessions.
I was thinking about cities of love, who became cities of something different entirely, all in a matter of moments. Thinking about fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, friends & lovers being ripped away, bodies falling to the floor never to rise again. Thinking about men in masks, men in uniform & those important men in suits, who appear on our television screens to bring nothing to put our minds at ease.
I was thinking how the nightmare, which once seemed to belong to people far from here, had slipped into our living room & lives, and how it now belonged to us too. I was thinking that maybe I had been too busy living life to pay attention when I really should have. Thinking that those throwing up barricades, those guarding the fences, would start to feel compassion now & when they didn’t, I couldn’t help but think that there was a real possibility that I would never be fully capable to understand the way this world works.
I was reading newspapers, searching the internet, I was afraid & knew I wasn’t alone. And so I became frightened of the fear of others, worried about the extreme lengths we would go through in the name of justice & repercussion.
I was thinking about the future. And as it goes, when the future couldn’t tell me anything, I turned around & started thinking of the past. Those wonderful days behind me, which have the extraordinary power to become more meaningful & less confusion as time goes by. Where the future filled me with uncertainty, the past was an old friend with all the answers to the right questions. So soothing, so calm, those old days, which once scared me the way new days sometimes do.
My November theme is a small tribute to days gone by. Even though I know I must, and I will, stop worrying about days to come, it’s been comforting to sort through the souvenirs of time. It’s been a welcome delight to discover & rediscover those small tokens of a life lived. And at the same time, it has restored my hope & faith for the days, years & life to come.The past has filled me with a healthy desire to fill all those blank pages ahead of me, with the most extraordinary set of colours I can possible think of. It has shown me that life exists in all the small things, the seemly unimportant moments & in the love we put into creating & preserving those moments.
Feel free to go on a trip down memorylane with me…..it starts right here:)
31) Shining through
1) Necklace, Uganda
3) Growing up
4) Me & You down by the schoolyard