This wandering mind
As I’m uploading these long overdue photos of August & my last memories of Ireland, I feel I place a definite dot behind the summer, propelling myself into autumn while still struggling with this blog-gap I can’t seem to bridge. I tell myself that it doesn’t really matter, that sometimes time just goes too fast for a mind that has so much wandering to do.
But truth is, I’ve been feeling a little low lately. For many, but for no particular reason.
Maybe it’s the autumn, with its typical air of imminent endings. But then again, this is also supposed to be my favorite season, so I suppose that doesn’t make much sense at all.
So, maybe it is time moving at a seemly unusual speed, hours slipping from my days, while I trying to hold onto its precious minutes & moments.
Maybe it’s the songs I listen to; the old favorites & new lovers; all the words, the melodies, every rise, every fall, all the beauty bringing tears to my eyes.
Maybe it’s this world & its incomprehensible conflicts & its complicated politics. The world with its heartbreak, its tragedy & its endless challenges. Maybe it’s the feeling of being unable to keep up, my inability to understand, my flawed hopefulness fading at the edges.
I suppose, as a human, you can’t help feeling emotionally pushed to the limit sometimes. Like your soul is wide open somehow, waiting for both beauty & heartbreak to walk right on in. Everything you see & hear touches you deeper, words & their meaning become unpredictable allies who might turn on you at every given moment. And whether it’s the shortening days, the speeding time, this world in turmoil; I don’t know. All I know is that I don’t want to mind too much. I try to remind myself that this is probably what it should feel like to be alive; that this is what it is like to live fully & freely & without the fear of feeling.
Well, I guess what should have been my photo update for week 35, turned into some unexpected soul-searching exercise:) That’s how I seem to work these days….. thanks for bearing with me.
I’ll leave you now with five more Ireland-images & two new images to keep you guessing about the September theme…:) I promise to tell you all about it in my next post….