Week 14 of my 2015 Photo Project.
What a struggle it has been. Nothing seemed to work. Pictures just weren’t happening. And believe me, it wasn’t for a lack of trying. My camera literally went everywhere with me this week. I cycled up & down, the camera went up & down with me. I went to the supermarket & the camera did some shopping too. I had my passport photo taken, while my camera waited on the very chair next to me. I looked around all week; obsessed with the concept of texture, which was this week’s challenging subject. But what is texture really? How do I recognize it, capture it on a photo as beautifully as possible? I saw trees. I saw stones. I picked up feathers & grass, felt the soft texture in my hand, feeling I was onto something at last. I browsed through some of my older pictures, saw some textural images I shot last summer when dandelions were ready to blow in the wind & wavy grain fields made the world look golden & soft. But that was then & this was now.
Now it rained. Or now I went grocery shopping & forgot to take a cooling element for the poor melting peas, who waited in my bag while I searched my surroundings for textural beauty. Now I found a park filled with beautiful trees & gorgeous flowers. But the park was crowded & I didn’t feel like being that one, crazy person laying on the ground or hugging trees in order to get the perfect shot. Now you’re probably wonder why I would care. I can hear you think; isn’t she that same crazy person who shot Playmobil characters all through town just last year? How much crazier does she really think it can get? And you right, I shouldn’t care. I should be out there laying on lawns & drive ways, happily shooting away. But sometimes you care & sometimes you don’t. And this week I obviously did care. I cared about the families filling the park, I worried about the glances the park-keepers threw at me & I didn’t feel like standing still or standing out.
This morning I left the house bright & early to apply for a new passport. I lingered at the door, unsure whether to take that slightly heavy, yet lovely camera for such a boring occasion. After some debate, I decided that families & park-keepers were probably not out of bed yet & so it was ‘safe’ to shoot some images. I placed the camera in my backpack & took off. The world was unfolding beautifully; there was mist, sunshine, patterns & texture as far as my eye could see. So, towards the end of an otherwise uninspired week, this morning I parked my bicycle against a gate, got my camera out, focussed on the uneven surface of a fallen tree & pressed the shutter button…..and that’s when my battery went dead.
Clearly, creativity wouldn’t stream this week. Inspiration took some time off & never thought to inform me about its plans. And so I have ended up with a collection of pictures I don’t feel completely confident or happy about. And that’s a tight spot to be in for a perfectionist such as myself, who doesn’t like to share anything she isn’t 200% satisfied about. So, I thought of skipping a week. Then I thought of using old photos. Yes, for a moment, I even considered forgetting about this photo project all together.
But then I had a good look at my blog title & remembered why I started this whole blog to begin with. And I can tell you this much; it wasn’t to force myself to be perfect at all times. Neither was it to force creativity or beat myself up about a lack of just that. This blog is supposed to be a place to be me. A place to explore my possibilities as a writer, photographer and more than anything, explore my possibilities as an imperfect perfectionist.
So, having said that, I’m proud to present to you; the perfectly imperfect photo-project update of week 14.