A photo a day – week 7

12) K is for Kiss Goodnight

12) K is for Kiss Goodnight

‘What if I fall?

Oh, my darling,
what if you fly?’

Eric Hanson

When I was little, I would patiently lay in my bed at night, waiting for my mother to come & kiss me goodnight. Sometimes I had to wait for quite a while, as she sat with my brother or one of my sisters, talking about their day & the things they did or were planning to do. But I didn’t mind waiting. I would close my eyes & listen to the sound of her voice, the rhythm of their conversations. Even today, I remember clearly how the sound of it would fill me with the deepest sense of belonging.

When conversations were over, she would find her way to my bed & sit with me like she sat with them. Like she was never in a hurry, never had anything else to do, never eager to switch of our lights & start spending the sparse alone- time she had. She would listen, think along, we would laugh or cry, sometimes both. And always, at the end of it, she would lean over & she would kiss my forehead; sealing the day with a kiss.

Nine month she carried me through this world & since then, she carried me many many more. She might argue this, but I believe I owe her everything. For she is the one who gave & gives me space to discover, space to grow & more than anything, space to be. Not to be someone she wants me to be, not someone she had hoped to be, but merely space to be me.

Me; with all my oceans of not-knowing & my mountains of wondering. Me; with all my adolescence days of sadness & all my ‘grown-up’ days of searching. She gave me eyes to see this world, to be amazed & to be bewildered. She taught me to truly see, she gave me the will to understand & respect, gave me the intelligence to reconsider. She gave me my brother & my sisters. She gave me love & light & laughter. If it wasn’t for her, I would not appreciate everything for being something, wouldn’t know how to separate the bigger issues from the smaller ones & I would never have taken the time to shine a light on every possible version of myself. She was there & is there, every step on the way. A little further away these days, yet closer than ever, she sends me postcards full of conversation & provides me courage through the phone.

And in my mind, she still kisses my forehead each & every night. Sealing the day with a kiss. Making sure I may fall asleep, guarded by the luxury of her unconditional love.

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3 thoughts on “A photo a day – week 7

  1. What else can I say Naomi then: Thank you for your sweet words. I hope I will be around many, many more years. To care , share and give you, your brother and sisters my unconditional love. And you have to know, that being a mum was and is for me all I want to be in life. You all, as ‘my’children,have always given me so much in return, not to express in words.
    And when tonight you go to bed and almost close your eyes, feel I’m with you, feel my love and sleep well.

  2. hi dearest Naomi, two years later…rereading your sweet words, memories. I’m so happy that I’m still around, still in good health and able to share my love with you, your brother, sisters, Bert and so many other people. I love you so much and hope you’ll stay the sweet,friendly, creative person you are. Lots of love!

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